Get well soon.

It is that time of year again. The time when everyone gets sick. Roommate and I both need to stock up on juice and cough drops and stuff. And try to get plenty of sleep. That last part is not going to happen.

Amelia's Playbook

I have finally managed to land a part in a play. I will be playing the crone/witch in Hansel and Gretel. The show opens a week from tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about it, but I get excited whenever I look at my awesome costume. I haven't tried it on yet, but will probably do that tomorrow. I still have a ways to go with my lines. And my laugh. And my singing and dancing. But I am going to be putting more work into that in the next couple days because our director wants to try going off book on Tues.

Anyways, that's all I have for now.

The girls are back in town

Post by Amelia--

Classes start up next week. Ready to get back into the swing of things. I need something to keep me busy. Both of us are moved in. I really like our decorations. We are really showing off our nerdy selves. Lots of Harry Potter posters up, mostly from Isabella's end. I will try to get more of my HP stuff up as well.

Can't think of much to say right now. I'm going to read some info about the London riots to find out more about it. One of us will keep a blog going about that.

The anglophile in me worries

Post by Isabella-

There's a riot going on in London right now and I'm sitting here in my dorm watching ignorant people discuss the issue on Omegle.

Here are the facts as they stand now:

• A drug dealer was shot by police officers
• After that, people led a peaceful protest
• The protest turned violent
• Police have been injured, some hospitalized
• Rioting and looting has been going on for three nights
• A mass clean up is underway. For more information on clean up efforts, visit http://www.riotcleanup.co.uk/
• Riots have taken place in London, Birmingham, Liverpool, Bristol, Leeds, Nottingham.
• Parliment to be recalled on Thursday to discuss the riots.
• The Met police plan to deploy 13,000 officers in London over the next 24 hours.
• A 26-year-old man was shot in a car in Croydon last night.

For the latest information on the U.K. riots, visit http://www.bbc.co.uk/.

I will add my opinion about these riots later today when I have more time to sit down and write.

Quick Update:

Post by Isabella-

Hey.

I just wanted to do a quick update. I've been a little busy so I'm sorry that I haven't been posting that much. I was up for the entire Pottermore experience, during the same week my A.C. stopped working for two days, I moved back to school, my mom had car problems, I unpacked everything and I read three books. Today roommate and I had a TwiBadMovie marathon. I forgot my ethernet cable at home so I need to buy one soon. Supposedly, I'm going tomorrow to buy another. Besides that I'm just preparing to get back into the swing of things. Everyone moves in on Wednesday so I'm going to enjoy my time away from people while I can.

More soon,

Loves.

Pottermore

Post by Amelia--

So, I waited a long time for the clue to be revealed. Then, had trouble getting to the actual quill page. Then, had trouble getting past the "explore" stage. Now, waiting for the welcome email.

*headdeask*

Invisible Illness Awareness Week

Post by Isabella-

There is apparently an online advocacy thing going on about "Invisible Illness Awareness." It is to raise awareness about mental health disorders and other "invisible" illnesses. I think this is pretty neat. They have a survey that people can take online so here is mine:

1. The illness I live with is:

PTSD and depression.

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:

2011

3. But I had symptoms since:

Depression: At least since a friend in high school started talking about killing herself. I ended up turning her in because I was worried. The loss of that relationship afterward caused me to kind of start spiraling downward. But the depression would come and go. PTSD: I noticed early January of 2010.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:

Dealing with the nightmares and panic attacks. Also, having to sensor myself with what I watch/read/listen to when I never had to do so before. 

5. Most people assume:

That the nightmares should be easier to deal with than how I handle them.

6. The hardest part about mornings are:

Remembering the nightmares and trying to ground myself. It can take anywhere from 20 minutes to several hours for me to feel safe enough to get out of bed.

7. My favourite medical TV show is:

I don't have one.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:

Phone.

9. The hardest part about nights are:

Falling asleep and the nightmares. I wake up anywhere from 2 to 10 times a night from nightmares. Then I start the process of grounding myself so I can be calm enough to go back to bed.

10.  Each day I take __ pills & vitamins.

No pills or vitamins. I take Tylenol PM or benedryl whenever I have a really hard time going to bed.

11.  Regarding alternative treatments I:

I don’t think I use any? I guess "grounding" could count?

12.  If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose:

I don't know. I know the arguments for invisible: you're able to tell someone about it or choose to hide it, people don't have to know what you're going through...etc. I kind of prefer visible because I wouldn't  have to explain or deal with people who don't really understand (or want to understand). 

13.  Regarding working and career:

I worked for two weeks this summer before I had issues with panic attacks brought on by triggers at work. I have been home for the summer preparing to go back to school this fall.

14.  People would be surprised to know:

How rough it can get for me. I just don't think anyone understands or wants to understand.

15.  The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been:

The fact that my sense of safety is gone. I will never feel content or safe anywhere. I will always be on my guard. I will always put my keys in between my fingers when I'm walking alone. I will never sit with my back to the door and feel safe. I will always make plans in my head for escape routes when I walk in a new building just in case.

16.  Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:

Be comfortable around boys again.

17.  The commercials about my illness:

The ones for depression are pretty obvious. There are online ones for PTSD, but they're all about military men and women which is a little frustrating. They aren't the only ones who deal with this issue.

18.  Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is:

Well, since this whole thing started: sleeping through the night.

19.  It was really hard to have to give up:

The typical giving up a good night of sleep...etc. But something that was difficult to pick up was "grounding." It just seemed really silly and that made it hard to do.

20.  A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is:

Going over my nightmares during the daylight hours and trying to analyze them. It's helped me realize what my mind is trying to tell me while I'm asleep, but it's difficult.

21.  If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:

I don’t remember what normal is, but I would probably hang out with friends, watch all the things that I avoid and then go to bed really early so I could sleep well for a while.

22.  My illness has taught me:

People are horrible, sick, twisted individuals who do the absolute worst things to each other. People can do crap like that and get away with it. I can fake a good day. I can let myself wallow on a really bad day.

23.  Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is:

"I'm sorry." "Tell me where he lives. I'm going to kick his a**." "You'll be okay." Or if they just give me a pitying look.

24.  But I love it when people:

Treat me normally.

Are just there for me.

Cuddle.  (Physical contact helps my dissociation more than anything else.)

25.  My favourite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:

A quote from Firefly:

-“Well, we’re still flying.”

-“That’s not much.”

-“It’s enough.”

I also like this quote from “Concrete Angel”: “Through the wind and the rain, she stands hard as a stone.”

**These were not mine originally, but reading them from another person with depression and PTSD was really uplifting. I love it.

26.  When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:

It's really hard, but I'm here for you. I understand what you're going through and whatever you need from me, you got it.

27.  Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:

How strong certain things can hit. Like a post I made a while back about my mom and I.

28.  The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was:

Sat up with me on the phone when I just woke up from a nightmare.

29.  I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because:

I had no idea what that is.  I just saw this under the PTSD tag on Tumblr. Then I did some research and fell in love with this idea. So many people don't understand  how big of an issue this actually is, don't understand how much people suffer every single day.

30.  The fact that you read this list makes me feel:

Surprised, cared for, happy.

I know that's a lot of stuff, but it felt really good to get all of it out. I also really hope that IIA Week can go well and people can become more informed about mental health and mental health issues along with other "invisible" illnesses.

"If you are in pain, you are not alone."